Hello, my faithful readers! (Yes, both of you.)
I’d like to apologize for my lack of posts in recent months – I’ve been caught up with all that stuff known as “life.” But I’m back on the blog, and I’d like to present a new edition of Manhattan Madness!
People Who Walk Their Birds
People in New York do all sorts of crazy things with their pets. I saw a dog riding a motorcycle with his owner on 5th Avenue the other day…and the dog was wearing sunglasses. I saw a man on 14th Street with his cat standing on his hat. But perhaps nothing strikes me as quite so odd at a glance as seeing people walking down the street with their pet birds on their shoulders.
Had I only seen it once, I’d assume it was a single individual a few cashews short of a mixed nut bowl.
But I’ve seen it four or five times now, on separate occasions. The bird-walkers seem to favor the walkway that runs between the Hudson River and the West Side highway. Why this is, I don’t know; perhaps people on the East Side prefer to bring their birds to the gym and walk them on treadmills.
And these are big birds, too. I’ve seen a couple cockatoos, but the most impressive avian I’ve seen riding its owner’s shoulder has to be a Hyacinth Macaw parrot, as seen below.
Just for the record, the Hyacinth Macaw is the largest parrot; it can grow almost three and a half feet long, weigh nearly five pounds. and run about $10,000 each. They’re also endangered, mostly due to – surprise! – people who capture them and send them to other people who want the birds in their apartments.
Then these people turn around and take their birds for a walk. Probably so they can get some “fresh air.” Because the air in the Amazon is so much dirtier than New York’s.
In other words, if you ever see a man walking down the street with a macaw on his shoulder, see if you can get it to crap on him. Because he’s a goddamn idiot.