Ten Euphemisms For Defecation I Can Do Without

1. Pinching a loaf.
2. Dropping the kids off at the pool.
3. Making fudge.
4. Dropping a deuce.
5. Birthing a Texan.
6. Chocolate fudge sundae.
7. Turtle head.
8. Lay an egg.
9. Squeezing cheese.
10. Really, anything other than “I gotta use the bathroom.”

(This list offered in memory of George Carlin, whose “Thing I Can Do Without” format I’m shamelessly…honoring…here.)